


Alone

by LittleMissBacon



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, New Year's Eve, New Year's Kiss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-24
Updated: 2018-12-24
Packaged: 2019-09-26 13:51:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17142947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleMissBacon/pseuds/LittleMissBacon
Summary: The Doctor and Yaz haven't seen each other for 10 years.





	Alone

**Author's Note:**

> For JJ in the thasmin discord server!

The Doctor stood atop the roof of a building in the Sheffield city centre, the TARDIS parked behind her against the rooftop entrance. It had snowed earlier on in the evening and now the city, covered so beautifully in a thin layer of snow, was gearing up for the New Year countdown. Things seemed different, had this place really changed that much? It was The Doctor’s first time back in Sheffield since…

Well, since she broke Yaz’s heart 10 years ago.

~

_ I’m growing too attached, I can’t do this again to another person. Everyone who has ever gotten close has only been hurt. This needs to stop. _

The Doctor, Ryan, Graham and Yaz had been travelling together for a year now. They got sucked in to so many adventures, and ended up helping so many people across the universe. But what The Doctor hadn’t expected was to start falling for the young police officer. Her logical approach to things, her intelligence, her optimism. It was all so alluring. It didn’t hurt that she had a pretty smile either. The Doctor was hopeless against Yasmin Khan’s endless and effortless charm.

It wasn’t a secret that Yaz had developed feelings for the Doctor too.

She needed to get away, from all of them, before she could get them seriously hurt. She had spoken to Graham and Ryan who were reluctant to go back home but ultimately agreed that it was time to get back to their old lives. Breaking the news to Yaz on the other hand… That was the most difficult thing she’d done since she had regenerated.

“Go back home? Are you kidding me? I can’t go back, I don’t  _ want _ to go back! I want to keep travelling to the ends of the universe, I want to meet new aliens, see new planets! I want more. I  _ need _ it Doctor!” Yaz ranted, her voice raised and echoing against the walls of the TARDIS.

“Yas, please. I think it’s time to go back. It’s been amazing travelling with you and the boys, but I think it’s time we move on. We’ve been through some dangerous things together and came out unscathed, but we might not be so lucky next time. I can’t risk getting you guys hurt anymore, do you understand?” The Doctor responded, her voice calm and level although she was feeling anything but.

“That’s bull, Doctor. You know it! I can take care of myself, you’ve seen me do it. Why are you suddenly telling us to go back home? Did we do something wrong? Have we upset you?”

“No, no, of course not! Yaz, please, just listen to m-”

“No, you listen to me Doctor! You can’t just whisk us away on grand adventures and expect to be able to dump us whenever you feel like it! I never thought you could be cruel,” Yaz shook her head, her body shaking from the flurry of emotions she was going through - pain, anger, sadness. “You can’t make people fall in love with you and toss them aside when you get bored…”

The Doctor was stunned by the blatant declaration of love. Yaz had turned away, attempting to save a little face by hiding her tears. The Doctor wanted to step forward to comfort the young woman but she just couldn’t risk caving in and letting her stay.

“I never meant to lead you on, Yaz,” The Time Lady’s voice was barely above a whisper. “I just can’t be what you want. You don’t really know me. I’ve enjoyed travelling with you, so much. But us as more than friends? It can’t work. Why isn’t friendship enough?”

Yaz whipped around to face the Doctor, her jaw dropped as if she’d been slapped in the face.

“Are you always so cold to the young girls you take with you? How many times have you made this speech, or ones like it?”

The Doctor pursed her lips, knowing the truth wasn’t the answer Yaz wanted to hear. So she stayed silent, feeling the guilt. Yaz waited with her arms crossed over her heaving chest.

“I don’t know what to say, Yaz. I’m sorry,” The Doctor looked down at the ground, shoulders sagged.

“I’m just sorry I ever agreed to come with you in the first place! I never should have said yes!”

Yaz stormed out of the TARDIS, furiously scrubbing at her eyes to get rid of the tears. They weren’t worth shedding over the Doctor. The slam of the TARDIS door echoed and made the Doctor flinch.

It was done. No goodbye. No happy send off. The Doctor regretted how she handled the situation. But in the end, it was better that Yaz left regardless of the damage dealt. It meant that she would be safer here on Earth.

At least, that’s what she’d have to keep telling herself.

~

Since that day the Doctor had kept her distance from the people she encountered on her travels, making sure to keep them at arm’s length. She couldn’t handle another long term companion. Not while she still had feelings for Yaz.

She leaned against the ledge of the roof, her eyes scanning over the cityscape lit up with decorations leftover from Christmas. She could hear people down below on the footpath laughing and cheering as they meandered down the street. It was times like these that she felt so lonely, even when she was surrounded by hundreds, if not thousands, of people.

The Doctor glanced at her sonic which told her that the time was 11:55pm.

The rooftop door opened behind her. She didn’t bother turning around to see who it was, but she supposed it couldn’t hurt to have a little company for New Years.

“I thought it was you,” A familiar voice spoke softly over the thrum of the crowds below.

The Doctor’s ears pricked up.

_ No. It couldn’t be. _

“It’s been a long time, hasn’t it Doctor?”

The Doctor slowly turned around and was met with the vision of Yasmin Khan dressed in a smart looking white blouse, black trousers, and a grey coat. She looked so much more mature than when they last saw each other. Her hair was cropped short, ending just above her shoulders. What really threw the Time Lady off was the small smile pulling at the corners of Yaz’s lips.

“Yeah, it has.”

“You look exactly the same. Although I guess I shouldn’t be surprised,” Yaz said as she stepped closer.

“You’ve changed. You look happy, healthy,” The Doctor said. “I like your hair too. Shorter now. Looks good.”

“Thanks,” Yaz stopped beside the Doctor, leaning against the ledge like the Doctor had been previously. “Decided to cut it short once I hit Sergeant.”

“You’re a Sergeant now?” The Doctor asked.

“Inspector, actually. DI Yasmin Khan,” Yaz corrected. “I’m gunning for Chief Inspector soon.”

“Wow, that’s incredible!”

“What about you, Doctor? What have you been up to?”

“Well, same as usual. Going off to different planets. Helping those who need it. Haven’t really stopped anywhere for very long.”

“What made you come back here?”

The Doctor thought a moment - well, she didn’t need to think about why but she wanted to buy some time to build up courage to say what she wanted to say.

“I missed you.”

“After 10 years?”

“I know, I’m sorry,” The Doctor hung her head, much like she had done back on that day.

“Hey, look, I get it. You just wanted to protect us, and you didn’t feel the same way about me. No harm done in the end,” Yaz shrugged. “We’re different people now.”

“But that’s the thing, Yaz,” The Doctor took in a deep breath. “I did feel the same way. I still do.”

Before Yaz could respond, the New Years countdown began. The chanting crowd would have drowned out their conversation anyway so they stopped talking in favour of looking out across the city, down at all of the people gathered in the centre.

“Five!”

“Four!”

“Three!”

“Two!”

“One!”

“Happ-” The Doctor was cut off by Yaz grabbing her by the lapels of her coat and kissing her, slow and gentle.

Fireworks set off in the distance as they kissed. The Doctor held on to Yaz by her waist while the DI moved her arms up around the Doctor’s neck. It was a long time coming. They stayed like that, exchanging little kisses until the fireworks had finished. Yaz looked into the Doctor’s eyes and smiled.

“Happy New Year, Doctor.”


End file.
